Fail.

Well it didn't really start.  I don't know what to say except I'm lazy and I love fatty food.  I also eat in secret sometimes.  A lot.  I bought healthy food and I can't do anything but keep trying.  

So it starts...

Welp. . . I'm sitting at my parents house, my current residence, watching a self made Mad Men marathon.  While I'm fulling enjoying it all I can think about is how HUNGRY I am.  That seems to be all I can ever think about.  I've been trying to lose weight all my life, literally, and it never really amounts to anything.  But now, I'm 26 years old, alone, fat and not really all that happy.  My therapist says my mind is programmed to always see the negative and that I have to work to fix it.  I'm not sure how to fix the way you've thought for your entire life.  Therapy has been really helpful, as has the medication, but I want more.  I want to be with someone who I love, and who loves me unconditionally.  I want to love myself and hove a body that I love.  I want to be so happy is shines out of me and can fill up a whole room, but I seriously doubt any of this will ever happen.  I've been working on my inner self, although it's been getting harder and harder lately, so I guess it's tie to work on the outside.  This has to be it.  I can't live my life in this uncomfortable body anymore.